Topic for thought

Today we are tackling Step 9, which is about actually making amends to all the people we have been putting on our Step 8 list. These are the people we have hurt, either intentionally or unintentionally, and we are now saying we are willing to try and put right the damage we have caused. We recognise that the only exceptions should be in cases where contacting someone would injure them or another, and we are discerning whether this might be the case with the guidance of our Sponsor.

The Issue

The purpose of Step 9 is to contact as many people on our list as possible - all those people we have hurt throughout our lives - and, where it will not inflict further injury on them or others, make some kind of amends. The purpose is to restore our damaged relationships wherever possible. It doesn’t matter what their response is – my responsibility is to clean up my side of the street.

The Goals

On completion of Step 9 we should be able to...

• Realise that past hurts matter and affect my future

• Understand that making amends gets rid of anger, thoughts of revenge and my shame

• Understand that, there is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation

• Understand and experience the thrill of putting right the things I have done wrong and returning into restored and healed relationships

• Experience the peace that comes from being set free from the shadow of my past dealings

• Realise that not everyone may forgive and, at the end of the day, it’s not about their response – it’s simply the right thing for me to do